155# One Year After...

155# One Year After...

26th of December. 365 days ago, the power of the nature brought away all the precious from the mankind's hands.

From the short film i saw in Astro, the scenes reminded me about the pain brought by the tsunami to the people. Nature is blind. It shows no mercy to anymore. Under the power of nature, everyone is the same, seems to be so weak and helpless. Regardless the race, the status, the wealth of a person, everyone is nothing, confronting the natural disasters.

People were losing their houses, their families, their propeties, their land. Their everything.
I hope i do not remind the sadness of the victims here. But i'm here to send my consolations to the victims survived from the disaster.

Present. The rain is out of control recently. The north is flooded. People are living pain.

2 days ago, Christmas Eve. It was raining heavily. I could not make to my friend's house due to the flood on the roads. A bus was stucked beside the drain because one of the wheel went into it.

10.40pm, i got a call from my friend. And i drove to his place regardless of the flood. I saw cars beside, and on the road. Down. I saw the bus stucked there. Helpless. I went to my friend's house, the flood bothered him too. But it was just a minor one.

1.40am, i drove back home. At the drain where a bus was stuck, i saw a second one. Another bus was stucked too. The water made the driver failed to locate the drain. I could not pass by there, i turned to the main road. I drove slowly due to the flood. Suddenly, the blue Satria car stopped in front of me, with hazard lights on, some white smokes coming from the exhaust. The car was down. Helpless.

There was no rain today, fortunately.


154# My...

154# My...

My Computer

Wednesday, 21st of December. At night, i turned on my desktop. A notification appeared on the screen. Telling me that i had altered the start up. To select back normal start up, can be selected again.

Windows XP users can have selective start up by clicking
Run > msconfig > Selective Start up > Able and Enable what programmes at your choice for start up.

But this is an advanced settings. My advice is, better not to change anything from there if you aren't an expert for computers.

I installed my HP Deskjet 3900, and i opened the msconfig to select out the HP guide thingy. From there onwards, my computer began to have problems. I'm not sure whether the problems occured were because the modifications i made in the start up. But i think it did concerned it.
For example, my computer had rebooted for a few times out of a sudden. I do not know why.

When i connected to the internet, it rebooted. The screen became black, then the system restarted. Got once i opened 2 IE browsers, and attempt to sign in my MSN messager. The system just hung. I forced to restart my computer. And when it restarted, an error detected shown. And it was "serious error".

I saved a DoTA game. I tried to load the game again. When the game was on loading, suddenly a "fatal error" warning appeared. It got to do with the ATI graphic card. I do not know what the Hell is wrong with my computer man!

Yesterday the sound from the modem was abnormal. For couple of times it did not sound normal when dialling up. After i restarted the computer twice then it appeared to be normal back.

Just now i analysed my C drive, disk defragment was needed. I was like, what the heck? The computer is just one week old, why the disk needed to be defragmented? The D drive, where i stored my documents with didn't need that instead. Therefore, i defragmented the C drive. Hope everything is fine after i did that.

Now i'm typing this, the computer seems to be normal. It doesn't reboot nor get hang or something. Everything is fine. I think if i do not load my saved DoTA, then it would not have any problem then.

Oh God, this is a new computer. Please don't torture me in such a way. I can't live without computer. Average this computer is operating at least 6 hours per day. 3 users, my younger sisters and me.

My Car

My car has 5 tyres. Why 5? One more is the spared one, of cause. And 4 out of the 5 had punctured before. That was kind of pissing off. Imagine when you are on a rush, on the way of driving your steering got out of controlled. That is dangerous and fatal right...
Now, the car tyres and radiator cooler are fixed - done. No problem will arise at least for this short moment. I hope the "short moment" would be counted in years...

Regardless the problems i mentioned above, i just like my car. Not only it's driver friendly for tall drivers like me, and it's audio system. I like the car's front and back bumpers. And the rubber proctection at the sides of the car.

There was a red Iswara banged at my front when it went reverse. I sirened but it was too late. That car was slightly spoilt, and my front bumper was slightly damaged too. The flat part of it was dent in. That happened in the worst mall on earth, the parking area of The Store Center Point at Klang.

The other case. Same venue as above. I told you it's a worst mall on earth. Any bad things could happen. I was making a turn at the parking area. There were cars parked at the point where turnings are made. Those god damned drivers just never bother people who need to turn their vehicles to pass by there. Therefore, i tried to avoid the cars over there. I didn't notice the pillar at all, and the left hand side of my car scratched onto the pillar. If i say "bang" would be to much. But the impact was kind of big too as i felt i got banged or something.

After i damned the cars which blocked my way. I went down to check my car. Zero damage. The rubber at the side of the car had some white paint on it, from the pillar. I swept away the paint. The rubber did not have a single scratch on it at all. Good. Then i drove off and continued to damn those drivers who parked the cars over there.

Today, at Klang, again. After i fetched my sister from the tuition centre. I drove as usual. Relaxed, listening to the 7th album of Korn that i bought on Wednesday. I stopped my car when the cars in front of me stopped (of Cause). Steadily i stopped.

I remembered that i did not braked out of a sudden. But after 1.5 seconds i stopped, i felt an impact from the back of my car.

"What are we going to do?" My sister asked.
"That guy's car is definitely gone." I had never afraid of my car at all, you know why.

I turned on my hazard light, went down to check, "as usual", indeed.

The Nissan Sentra, BFF 9**9, did not stopped on time, therefore... It wasn't my fault. So the driver did not sound at me or something. This kind-fat-chinese guy admitted his fault that he did not noticed my brake lights and stop his car. His car crashed onto my car's back bumper. Precisely at the point of the bumper where trailer towings are made. The hardest point of the structure of the bumper, i guess.

The Sentra's front intercooler's cover gone. The car's number plate gone. My car, zero damage. I was just too lucky.

I am not a good driver nor an ethical one. It's better not to mention about free from accidents. Superstitious purposes. I think i'm one of those superstitous people...

I got a friend who drives a Waja met an accident. Couples of fractures at her chest bone. That was serious. Her car's engine and radiator gone. She was driving at the highway. That explains the impulse during the crash. I hope she is fine by now...

My 7th Korn Album

I spotted the album in Fantasy shop, Sunway Pyramid. After the disappoinment of having no japanese albums or DVD to buy, finally i found something else i needed to buy. Korn's "See you on the other side" album. But after i saw the imported version, i put back the local version.

The local version was just about RM43.50, but the Eupore imported one was RM63.50. Big difference. Imported version comes with 3 unrealesed studio tracks, 2 remixes, and 2 videos. It also gives one year Korn official fan club membership, with personal homepage, blog, priority for pre-sale tickets, medias...

Those do not bother me. I'm not staying in the US. But the imported version is in custom package. Quite nice. But i think the songs itselves are more important.

After i dropped the CD i bought into the car, i continued to woalk around in the mall.

When i passed by Video Ezy shop. I recalled that Korn should have posters for propaganda purposes. I went back to the shop and requested for a poster. Though the album itself did not come with one. The lady search in the counter. The lady boss said there's no free poster for the album. I gave a disappointed expression and walked to check out the anime soundtracks.

I could see that there was another young lady walked into the store, and she took a cylinder object out. A roll of posters, my guess was correct. She took out one piece from it, and rolled it. I pretended not to see it and continued to see at those soundtracks. The lady at the counter came to me and said, "This is your poster.". And the young lady rolled it and handed it to me.

I was thinking... They should not give it to customers right? Or else they would not do it when their boss was not watching. They already said no posters, but there was one for me in the end. Those two ladies were so kind! They gave me the poster! Guys, go support them by buying CDs from them. Call their boss to increase their salaries! But the boss was kind of selfish, said there were no Korn posters... Or she just did not know actually there were? Mmmm...

My friends

Wei-Jin and Tai Ken are back from the UK. Actually Jin called me out to DoTA all night in SS15 yesterday. I did not make it. It was just a rough plan. I had something on yesterday, or else i would appear in SS15 and call him out to DoTA until the next morning.

I slept until 12pm something until the call woke me up. I took about 12 seconds to figure out who was on the line. It was our pretty brilliant friend who is in the LSE. She is not coming back this time. She didn't know that the others were coming back. So she is kind of bored to stay over there in such a cool weather. Or she likes the weather? Mmmm...

I miss you guys. I will go to find y'all when i'm free alright. Please don't go back to UK so early! I need to be a house guard until 2nd of 2006. My parents are going overseas for vacation. I'm not. I need to fetch my sister to tuition. So sad. I'm not going out for Christmas and New Year this year. Sad case...

My outro

9kb notepad file for this entry. I guess you're tired of reading all of this. So sorry. I just have so many useless things to tell over here. My posts appeared to me randon nowdays. But i have tonnes of serious posts to come with. Give me some time. I shall give you some bombastic stuffs to read... If i could make it...


I've been tagged!

I've been tagged! By Princess Kim Cyndi

1986 - 19 years ago
August 21th

General Hospital, Klang
Brought to life

1991 - 14 years ago (5 years old)
Fast learner in drawings, left handed

Addicted in drawing non sense
Young and addicted

1995 - 10 years ago (9 years old)
SRJKC Pandamaran B

Getting awards for drawing contest, and academic acheivements
But did not getting anything for sports, sigh
Abused my right arm because of B that i got - non sense

1999 - 6 years ago (13 years old)
SMK Kampung Jawa

Sucks, everything
The school itself, the students, the teachers. the enviroment
Stucked in between the life of studying and involving in gangs

2002- 3 years ago (16 years old)
SMK Kampung Jawa, continued

Started to concentrate in studies,
Since gang friends stopped studying and began to work.
Started tuition life in Delta Tuition Centre.
Being a tall, silent freak in the tuition centre

2004 - 1 year ago (18 years old)
Taylor's College, Cambridge A-Levels.

Biology, Physics, Chemistry, Maths
Ultimate way of mental suicide
Physical and mental condition minimum
Supported by music and faith

2006 - next year (20 years old)
Studying in IMU

Killing and being killed by studies
On the way to achieve my dream
to be a licienced killer

2015 - 10 years from now (29 years old)
Working in a GH

Getting experiences
Further studies for master
Hope to have another half, sigh

I tag:

She Fong

Those who kena better be prepared and faster go and type ok!
Have a nice day!


153# Korn Talk

153# Korn Talk

Once i finished the previous entry, i thought of to write something about Korn over here.
I was glad to see Channel V's The Rockshow to show videos from Korn for the whole one hour programme.

Back to year 2002, Korn is the first Metal band i listen to. To be precise, it's a Nu-Metal, and Thrash Metal band.

Their songs are mainly based on the vocalist's child abuse, broken family background, and the problems he encountered. I learnt a lot of things from this band. Regardless what i learnt are postive or negative, i just feel that this band really brought me a lot of things that i can't learn from school's text books.

I learnt bad words, of cause. Like i mentioned before, words like Queer, C*nt, P*rn, S*lt, C*it... Alright, that's too bad to list down.

I learnt about guitars. The reason why i picked up guitars is because i listened to Korn. When i bought my guitar, only i noticed that Korn are actually using Ibanez too, for the past 14 years. But i play 6 strings, they play 7 strings. Which are the K7 series, their custom made.

There were 2 guitarist, Head and Munky. I prefer Head because i liked his different kind of dreadlock. But now, he left the bad.

I was shocked to know the annoncement from their website, which Head left the band and choosed "Jesus Christ to be his saviour". I didn't know what it means and i asked Sexy Teng.
From Wikipedia, i found Head's official page after he left Korn. He is going solo after he is being baptisted. I didn't know that he dislike what he was playing and singing for Korn.

He felt stressed after his divorce with his wife. And he couldn't accept the truth that his daughter was singing the band's song, A.D.I.D.A.S., which stands for 'All Day I Dream About Sex". Imagine a 5,6 years old girl sings this in front of you. And to overcome his addiction of drug, Crystal Meth, he asked God to save him. In the end, he got saved. And he choosed to leave the band and going to something sacred.

I was absolutely gone off. A guy who influence me to play guitar left his band! What a sad news for me... Now Korn is 4 piece. They are not going to have a replacement for the second guitarist according to them.

Recently, TV is playing their lastest video clip, titled "Twisted Transistor". For your information, Korn is not black ok! If you have watched that video at the TV, i want to tell you guys, those black are not them! They are the hiphoppers. I don't know to spell it... what sloop dog, xhibit, blah blah... The end part of the video, where got a few guys sitting and discussing with the hip hoppers, those are real members of Korn.

The video is mainly about Korn wants MTV to play their songs. So they are making their video to be acceptable and mainstream by the public. The last part of the video, where the vocalist Jonathan Davis said:

"What is this? Rock is dead. I want some bling bling, i want some girls who are booty shakin'. Comon' give me something."

Jonathan Davis is implying the hip hop is dominating. Though he said Rock is dead, that was a lie. In their Greastest Hit album, they believe that rock is not dead.

This is the first video from them since Head left the band. And to be truth, this song sucks for me. It's an experimental album, because they have change their stlye since Head left. And the video itself also sucks! Are they going to critique the music scence? I don't know man.

TV was playing their video titled "Word Up" and "Another Brick from the Wall". Those are not their songs too, those are cover songs. Their songs are rather dark and depressing. Which you only able to see in The Rockshow or something at night.

Rock is not dead. And i want to say, Black hip hop sucks! It's not everything ok!

152# There's something about DoTA

152# There's something about DoTA

I'm back. There's been a while since the last time i blogged.

This's the first time i blog using this desktop. Been used to type with the laptop, now i feel so uneasly to type with desktop'skeyboard...

Actually i wanted to blog something out here days ago. But this CPU is installed with DoTA, you know. Warcraft 3 - Defeat of the ancients. (In case someone don't know.. But i think everyone knows DoTA right?)

Therefore i spent quite long time to play the game. I seriously suck in playing this. For so many times i'd played, i got once with 1 kill, once with 2 kills. The 2 kills game i was using some tricky invisible character. (Rikimaru la) Or else i would not get any kills at all. Back to college time, when i knew nothing about the game, i always got killed (bullied) by my mates.

Even Justin, who supposed to show some mercy to a slow learner like me also stabbed me like Hell. Justin, damn bad la you! But right now i still suck in playing it, even though i used cheats! Damn...

And i can't play battlenet, because i don't have the official licience key thingy. So sorry Jin!

Ok, enough of DoTA talks. Let's proceed to something else.

Since the day i got this CPU from my cousin, average i spent about 3 to 4 hours in front of the monitor. It was quite hurting as my eyes feel dry and painful. Back to the times where i spent 4 hours daily with the laptop, i did not have any problem with it...

In order to transfer my files at the laptop to this CPU, purposely i went to get myself a USB flash drive. I don't want to use my sister ones... I was buying it at one of the shop in The Store Shaw Centrepoint. RM79 for Toshiba's 256Mb. Tried to kill down the price but couldn't. The salesman was kind of tough to kill. Then the other salesman got me. It was my secondary schoolmate. Well, old friend price. I manage to get it with RM75. Actually the price is quite ok, but i just wanted to kill as low as possible. However, seems that i'm weak in killing prices. Girls usually do well in this sort of thing...

I deleted all my files in the laptop. I missed out to transfer pictures taken from college... Those pictures which i got from Jin, Audrey, Layhui... All gone. But i can still go to their friendster profile to grab it again. And from my photobucket... Though it are not in original resolutions anymore. Whatever.

I feel a little bit guilty now, as i am simply crap around here. Because i can't wait to finish this, so that i could go to read rojaks' blog. Tell you guys, this blog is a must-read. The posts by this guy (i think it should be a guy) called Wingz are damn funny. Go read it guys! I get to know this blog through Adrien, where he posted a BSB video directed from rojak's at his blog before.

Singles to buy:
1. Mika Nakashima - Glamorous Sky - Released long time ago
2. Mika Nakahsima - Oborodukiyo Inori - Released damn long time ago

Albums to buy:
1. Ai Otsuka - Love Cook - Released 14th Dec
2. Korn - See you on the other side - Released 6th Dec

DVDs to buy:
1. Ai Otsuka live - Released August
2. Mika Nakashima - BEST - Releasing 24th Dec
3. Slipknot - 9.0 Live - Released Nov

I just noticed that Adrien listens to a lot of japanese artists' songs. How come huh? Are those singers sing songs for the animes? Mmm... I thought i was the only japanese influenced guy, but in fact i wasn't. Adrien and Jin listen to japanese songs too...


151# I'm in

151# I'm in

One - Offer of Admission

Yes, I'm in. Thank God.

When i was watching "Blue Streak" starred Martin Lawrence at the Star Movie channel, i heard the siren from the postman in front of the gates. He asked for a familiar name. Yes, my name was heard. He handed me a big envelope, asked for a signature.

And i saw IMU's logo on the top left of the envelope. Swiftly i signed it and gave it to the postman. Then he gave it to me after he teared the whatever-thing out from it.

With the speed of light i moved into house and teared the envelope. I did not see any keywords such as "accepted" nor "rejected", as i could imagine to see. After i read it, and tried to understand what the letter about, i came out with a conclusion. Yes, i'm in.

"Offer of Admission" titled. Means i'm accepted right? Enclosed with policy on payment of fees and proforma invoice, asking for money already. I think i had read it very clearly. I'm in.

With the speed of light again as to share the joy, i sms-ed my friends to tell them the mercy gave from IMU. Sms-ed Her first, of cause. Then my closest buddy, then the others...

Thanks, all you guys out there.. For all the supports, words and blessings. Now i won't complain with you all about my future studies. You guys are in peace now. Haha...

Career as a doctor is my dream. When i had just overcame the fear of being rejected, i need to consider about the stress that i would face later.

Today, 15th is my sister's last day for her final exam, in the first phase, pre-clinical years. I can see that she is stressed enough for this course. But i'm stepping onto what she is suffering now.

I was not really encouraged to study medicine. My dad wanted me to take up business, or building engineering. So that he could pass his business and companies to me in the future. I'm the only son. But i can't do it. I'm a man of science instead of anything else. Though i'm not as smart as my sister does, and for sure i would face more problems and stress in the future during the course. However, if i did not study this and work as a doctor, that is really living in Hell.

Two - Punctured tyre

Promised my friend to treat him a piece of roti canai. I was about to drive my car out around 11.45pm. I checked my car tyre, one of it seemed out of gas. But i thought it could last until tomorrow.

I drove it out. Less than a minute, i felt some strange problem from the car. I knew what went wrong. I managed to find a place for me to stop the car and went down to check it out.

Damn! The tyre was totally punctured. Luckily i was still near to my house. I drove back. With extreme concentration. The car was totally out of my control as it tended to move towards the right, where the tyre was punctured.

I survived reaching home. Luckily there was not many cars on the road because it was kind of late. I afraid the tyre is damaged because i drove it for some distance under such a condition.

Again, tomorrow i'm going to change it, then send it to the tyre shop. Call them to check for the other 4 as well. I have enough of tyre problems...

Actually before i went out, a sudden thought flashed through my mind. I knew if i went out this late it would be dangerous. Because a friend of mine of robbed and chopped on his face last year. So i was afraid of being robbed or something. I took out my credit card and bank card from my wallet. Left my IC, driving licience, cash less than RM200. That would be safer than. But still, bad things occured. Fortunately it was just a tyre problem, and nothing worse happened. Thank God again...

Three - Central Processor Unit

I'm getting a new CPU tomorrow. My desktop life shall begin then. My sister needs to bring this laptop to seremban for her clinical year in IMU. Finally i convinced my dad to change a new CPU. The old one was AMD 150Mhz, 20Gb. The processor slow because of unknown problems. The standard BIOS battery dried. The CPU is just simply a headache cause.

A new piece, from my cousin. With the price of 1.8k. Pentium 4 3.0Ghz, MSI 7071 Motherboard, 128Mb ATI graphic card, 256Mb DDR, 80Gb HDD, DVDRW, Built in network card... A cutting edge CPU for me, should be enough for a semi hardcore computer user like me. The saddest thing is still, no broadband available in my area. Or else, it would turn into perfect.

I found out a very convenient donwload software, called "Flashget". It's not a sharing tool i guess. When you found something to download from a page, regardless what page is it. Megaupload, usendit, blah blah...

To download the file, it doesn't go through the server's control. So it's not counted in the total download. Although a particular file has exceeded the download limit or period, with that flashget, it can be downloaded still. And download process can be continued after re-connections. Damn cool right? Go get one.

Four - Firefox incompatiblity

Yesterday, or the day before i was tortured by the HTMLs in my blog's template. Firefox users are complaining for the blog's incompatiblity to firefox browser. I knew, Su Ann told me this before. But i just can't get rid of this problem. I managed to find out what was wrong in the skin's template.

It was the part of both of the blog boxes. HTML line "overflow: auto;". If i remove this line from both blog boxes and both scroll bars' code. Then the blog boxes can be read. Just that the scroll be become cacat-ed, and the dates gone out of place. Still can't be solved. I tried for an hour for it.

So, i'm expecting help from people out there. Edit my template so that it can be viewed using Firefox browser. Not much people are using IE now, as i could see. But i'm still an IE user, because MSN toolbar allows tags in a browser too.

I guess i'm not going to change a new skin. I like this blog skin a lot and i have used it more than a year. It's very convenient and nice-to-look-at for me. Blog skins nowadays really turn me down.

Therefore, Firefoz users... Please tolerant with my HTML stupidity. Try to use IE when you need to browse my site alright? Thanks a lot for being considerate...

It's already 1.16am now. This is the first time i blog during such a late night. Once i came back from mamak then already i started to blog.


150# I know myself

150# I know myself

Saw this from Audrey's blog. And i tried the quiz. It's pretty accurate though.
Click on this if you want.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


149# New Old Stuffs

149# New Old Stuffs

These are my works when i was in Form 2 until Form 4. I used to draw a lot of Samurai X. I learnt a few of techniques from this author. It's really cool enough for me.

And the King of Fighters, Hong Kong style...

These are the funny ones! I hated this teacher a lot so i drew these.

I've shown the blue one to my PM8 classmates, Vivien liked this a lot and asked me to send to her.

I got a few sketches pending for redrawing in ink version. But feel very lazy to do it as i do not think these worth to spend my time with...

And this is the one which i spent for a whole day, but i still could not come out with a satisfying ink version of it...

Anyway i like this piece, though.

My dad came into my room just now and starred at my pictures which i sticked on my wall. I thought that he would going to comment of those evil erotic ones. Instead, he asked which pieces are the lastest ones. Then i showed him the new ones in my clear holder. I know he already notice those erotic pieces i'd drawn. Luckily he did not say anything la.

He ended with "Good work, draw more when you're free."

Oh my God! He agrees me to draw!

148# Art Talk

148# Art Talk

As the years go on, not only the music scene had split into new skool, and old skool. My opinion, even drawings itself also split into two genres.

The traditional drawings are done by pencil, pen, ruler, curve rulers, and other simple stationaries and tools. Drawings are in black and white. Simple modifications can be done by Microsoft Paint as to add some air brush effects. And Microsoft Photo editor can be used to arrange the drawings' margins.

Right now, with the development of softwares, computer helps a lot. The new skool type of drawings rely a lot, or even fully on computer hardwares and softwares. Hardwares are such as drawing pad, and the pen. Softwares are such as Adobe Photo Editor, and some other softwares which i do not know to name. It's not my field...

From the influence of mangas from the japanese, nowadays people are fully relying on computers to do their drawings, instead of creating it by the traditional ways. They do not really concentrate on the overall structure of the picture, but what mean manner for them are those effects they used.

Colour effects, shading effects, hair colour effects... All can be done by computer with just a simple click. Effortlessly, a beautiful art piece can be done. And most of the people nowadays prefer computer generated drawings then pure hand drawn drawings.
Examples from Kaorumorite
1. 2.

Graphics pictures are done simply by taking a photo, and edit it...
Example from Stormchild
Example from Ikko

As a purist of hand drawings, i think hand drawings do have more art values then those computer drawn ones. The life can't be sent to the drawings by the computers. But the direct hand drawing could.

I do not understand why people would say a computer drawing is nice, even though the drawing itself sucks. What meant nice was just the effect used for the drawing. It's really disappointing me. People are loving computer effects.

For more than a few times people posted their works on the internet. I read the comments, all of them said those are very nice. It drove my curiousity to check them out. I thought i would able to see something astonishing. But what i saw were just disappointments. The drawings all... I guess that my youngest sister could even draw better than those even when she was just 10. However, i do admit that they could really make use of the computer effects to make their drawing to be nice.

However, i've seen some black and white ones. But still...
Example from Endoresu.
Example from raggedoll.
Example from Stormchild.

The era of black and white traditional drawings is over. Now the computer drawings are dominating. It's really a sad phenomenon for me. I remembered i saw a lot of professional level drawings from the comic magazine posted by readers. If was when i was about 12 to 14... But now, all drawings suck. I wonder where do all those professional in drawing readers have been...

The only person that i knew, who is still have the possesion of traditional drawings is Ying ying, my ex CAL classmate. She drew a lot of LOTR, and it were really cool. She got some influence from me too, and she had drew one work which was quite depressing, titled "Dust". I can't publish her work her without her permission. But it's a really good piece of work.


147# IMU result 15/12

147# IMU result 15/12

Finally i had completed the final part of the story in
Decarboxylated. If Adrien did not remind me about it, guess i won't be told to continue my narrations... I felt quite sad to end the story. Actually the story has not end yet. But i'm ending the part of a particular character's history. And i found the story is inspiring. Once again, it's not my original story, but it's from Inoue Takehiko. I'm just put it into words with some modifications, just to share it.

Benacom is left behind for quite sometime. Even Viven herself has not write yet. And i need some ideas to come out with some new stuffs for it...

Feel so bored recently. To be exact, i feel bored everyday! I'm jobless since the October until now. Even
Audrey, who has just begin her holiday for few days also cannot tahan being jobless at home. I'm even worse la ok... Third month liao being jobless at home...

Today is Thursday, once again. The latest movie i have watched as AEON FLUX. The storyline was just as usual. But i found the female character was damn cool. Her figure, he movements, he facial expressions, her costume, her voice... one word, COOL!!

Yesterday night i was looking for mamak friends, again... It was 11pm, and no one was free. Some of them busy, some of them not picking up the calls, some of them refuse to go out... And even one of them was at her boy friend's place, waiting to go to watch Zahura's premier show... Alamak.

In the end... I mamak all alone. Eating at the mamak alone at the table of 4. Luckily i still had this friend who was still over the phone, continued to sms chat with me. Since 8pm we started, and until 12am we ended. Multi task again. Eating, sms, watching football at once. Or bungkus waffle, sms at the same time. Or drive with 60kmph at small road and read sms at the same time... Multi tasking is fun, but danger...

Very sian la... My buddy went pangkor for school vacation. I am left all alone at Klang.

IMU interview result is coming out on 15 DEC. According to Mei Wen, a few of her friends already got offered by the IMU though the official result is not out yet. Sure those people are those "must grab" for the IMU... One more week to 15 Dec... patient... But i always have nightmares for it, sigh...

Jin is coming back on 19 dec, and i got a friend is going to Korea for vacation at the same day as well. One is leaving one is coming back... what la...

Quite fed up in drawing. 2 days ago i spent the whole day drawing the same picture again and again. What came out from my hand were not satisfying. And i redrew for more than 5 times. Two 2B pencils wasted, curve rulers damaged, Pilot pens damaged, mentally damaged, mood destroyed, inpirations gone. What left were just frustrations... Damn it!!

I'm just crapping over here. Nothing else better to do. How wish i could study now like all of you all...


146# I'm done

146# I'm done

I don't know how shall i begin...

Physically, mentally. I'm done.

If IMU rejects my application. I give up in studying medicine. I give up in pursuing my dream as a doctor. I give up in my future which i wanted.

From deep inside i understand. Medicine does not meant for me to study with. According to my academic results, it is really hard for a medical university to accept me.

Even though i have 1000 reasons which i want to study medicine, i want to be a doctor in the future. But i have one fact which enough to cancel off all those 1000 reasons that i have.

My mind would like to study medicine. But my body can't take the pressure. For those who were close to me, you know. For the pass 1.5 years in taylors, how did i suffered. Anorexia. I could not eat. Once i did, everything threw out.

Before i could go to have meals with my collegemates, the first thing i needed to do was to puke in the toilet. Before i could go sit for any exam papers during the AS, the first thing i needed to do was to puke in the toilet.

After my meals, regardless what i had eaten, i puke beside the road, into the drains. After my exam papers during the AS, if i did not do well, i puke in the toilet.

My oesofagus is meant to swallow, not the other way round. This health problem had disturbed me for more than a year. When i spat, my phlegm was accompanied by some black substances, which i suspected it as a dried blood. And occasionally i spat out red blood together with my phlegm.

My body is not afford to suffer all of these. I am weak in handling pressures. Even though i feel relieved when listen to music, play the guitar, or do sports. But mentally the stress within is irremoveable. And i did not recover from these though i went for the doctors and took pills.

I was adviced to increase the intake of vitamin B by taking oral pills, by my sister. But the outcome was not noticable. Memorizings during studies need high amount of Vitamin B. And lacking of this vitamin causes one's stress.

There are reasons why sometimes i remain silent. There are reasons why sometimes i get mad out of sudden. There are reasons why i would become so violet. There are reasons why i got such a results in my A levels.

For more than a few times i was about to give up A levels. But the burdens of my future, and the name of the family stopped me more than once from slitting my wrists.

If God sees this, why did not He take these away from me?

I don't think that medicine really suits me. Although i really like it, but to overcome the first 5 years of MBBS is an important thing i need to consider before i could reach my goal as a doctor. I doubt my ability to overcome it. Even though me myself could, but my body not necessary would.

145# Presents from the poison-hearted

145# Presents from the poison-hearted

I did not know that she doesn't like me to be with her.
I did not know how she thinks about me.
I apologize to her because i cared,
not because i like to say sorry for nothing.

She ignored.
Her emotions are beyond my comprehensions.
She knows what she supposed and what she is not supposed to do.
Her eyes are blindfolded, and she walks on the barbed-wire.
She doesn't care.
Her ignorance is dominated by the fog.

My pride injured.
My time is gone.
My hands are empty.
My heart is poisoned.

She was not meant to be the one that i wanted.
So devious, so glamorous.

While i am just a person who came from nothing.
Tried to grasp everything.

I wondered,
how would it feel like,
For her,
To be me.

" Listen, listen to me, listen.
When nobody's in your heart now,

Let me intrude it from the crowd,
Please let me stay for a while.
Stay, stay in me for these empty hands i gave in..."


144# Stimuli

144# Stimuli

Visual Stimulant
I bought Dan Brown's collection today from the MPH. I took the Popular Card from my sister since i planned to buy Angel and Demons from there. But luckily i did not buy at popular, you will know why then. I'm looking for the UK version, but popular is selling the US one.

I found UK Da Vinci's Code in the MPH, as well as Angels and Demons. Deception Point, Digital Fortress looked interesting. So i bought the whole set from the MPH with price 20 pounds. Individual book is 6.99 pounds, so i bought the whole set, i considered saved a little bit...

Somehow actually they sell those individual books with the price RM34.90, cheaper than the direct converted price. Even the US versions' prices are also around RM34.90. But US versions are not as thick as the UK ones. Why huh?

Once i paid for those books, i walked out from the MPH. Placed my hand into my left pocket. And i found out that the card my sister gave me was actually Jusco card, instead of Popular card.

Luckily i did not buy those in the popular shop. Or else i'll be damn malu in front of the counter, with no discount for my
purchases some more.

I started Angel and Demons first among the 4 books despite the fact that it's the longest story. I've read until 10% of the story. Not too bad, religion, physics theories are involved. The storyline makes me can't stop from reading.

Actually i'm new in reading novels. The first novel i read was the book "Death Cults" borrowed from my friend. Murder cases for cults based on true incidents. I like the west end female lesbian vampires the most and i read it twice, haha.

Oral Stimulant
I bought a new kind of sundae, RM3.50 and a double Fillet-O-Fish burger from the McD. And both costed me RM10.XX. I was like, WTF? An extra piece of fish in the fish burger is costed RM7.00? Robbery ah? I asked the cashier about the Ala-Carte price of that burger since it's not shown anywhere in the list. She did not know either. She gave me the receipt. I read, HS!! RM6.65 for that bloody burger! I could even buy a set of value meal already! Damn it!!

Audio Stimulant
Recently i'm interested in this Germany Gothic Metal Band called "Leaves' Eyes". Unlike the usual Metal bands, this band's vocalist is a female, Liv Kristine Espenaes Krull. I get to know this band because this vocalist appeared for the song Nymphetamine with the band "Cradle of Filth" which i'm listening to.

According to the songs that i have downloaded for pre-listening, their songs are in english. But i went to their page before and it was in German, i thought they sing in German? But now they have both German and English language to be choosed in their page now. I just found out that.

Anyway, they practicing the Gothic style. With sorrow vocals, keyboards, violin, minor keys, but less tremolo pickings.

Somehow, overall i don't feel terrorized by the songs which usually a Gothic song does. It's something like Evanescene, but the non mainstream, non commercial type of it. And sometimes i feel it like Celine Dion or Madonna... So people, you should try to listen for this band k...

Mental Stimulant
PC fair strikes KLCC convention centre again, from 2nd until 4th of December. Bloody Hell, i want to go to get an audio player for myself. I think i'm going, if i manage to drag my friends here out. Guess i can't call Aretha, Cyndi out although promised to meet up in KLCC. Because geek stuffs are not interested by the girls (?). Wait for Wei-Jin to come back first...

I read the newspaper, saying that video player, literally MP4 is available with the price of RM300, over there. WTF?

Serious or not wei... RM300 can't buy nuts, not even a usable MP3. What about MP4, ridiculous. It is possible for an MP4 to come out with that price, if the product itself is China Mari ones. Then RM300 seems to make some senses.

I saw Apple's iPOD video, in a com shop at Bukit Raja. 20Gb, RM 1,599.00... Walao-eh... With that price i can already buy palm la brader... But anyway this device, iPOD video looks cool, and the capacity of 20Gb make possible to stuff in MPEG movies in it. And the iPOD Nano is selling for RM95X.00. Expensive too la...

I already spent for more than RM200 this week for buying a score book and Dan Brown. So i need to control myself from throwing money into the river. Since i'm being a jobless person at home, i have no reason for myself to spend so much of money.

But stuffs in the PC fair is tempting me to bring them home! Remember the previous PC fair i went during the last day. Samsung MP3, 256Mb was sold with RM199.00 only! So usually last day they will sell with a lower price, in order to compete with the other stalls, and to clean their old stocks as well. I guess...?

Die lo... I really want a HDD based MP3 or MP4 player. My 3 years old CD walkman can be displayed in the museum now. My dream ones, 20Gb, usually will cost me more than RM800... So... I don't think i can come out with that amount of money man.

Prices of these tech stuffs will drop drastically, even faster than my blood glucose level. I guess i should just be patient, buy those next time...

But i'm giving myself so many "Next time"s. So when is the "time" for me to buy it?

Give me money la.


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