222# Empty box

222# Empty box

I still recall
How it was that we first met
Silent corridor and soft wind
Sunlight sent by the heaven

Word without end
In the world with no together
I can't feel Her in our picture
Through the lost dimension
The time drifted by in silent rhythm

I can't remember
How did I forgotten all these
Of empty box and unwritten letter
And my feelings to Her disappeared

If I could wish
In front of God's grave time perished
I would keep my liquidized soul
And swear across the dark rainbow

To retake what once was lost
To Cherish what once was forced
To return what once was given
To retell what once was forgotten

For the dead Amor...


221# Manga

221# Manga

Back to the early 90's, there were few comics from japan which were really popular. The most irresistable, addictive and exciting comic must be Dragonball. Who did not know Dragonball 10 years ago?

The golden, spiky, shinny haired fighters with the light ball named Kame hame ha. The seven balls which would fulfill people's dream(s), who would manage to gather all seven of it. Although the story is plain simple, but it had a special attraction to almost everyone. Even my uncle took the book from me to read when i was 10.

I'm still having the comic books, which i borrowed from my friend last year. I'm still having the book 18 until 43, which is the end. Although my friend stays nearby only, but i feel lazy to return the books to him and feel like owning the books...

Other than Dragonball, Slam Dunk was once a bomb. Still remember the times where after my school, i'll walk to the comic bookstore nearby my primary school to rent, or to buy the book. I bought the part 7 and 8 for RM3.50 that time. Now none of the book is sold with this price. Not at all...

I had this whole episode of comic, from book 1 until book 24, titled Yaiba. From the author of Detective Conan for your info. And after i read it, i was so stupid and i sold the whole damn series of books. It was stupid to sell it, and it was super stupid to sell all full 24 with the price of RM20! RM0.83 for a book!

And the RM20 that i traded in, i "gave" back to the bookstore by buying 4 books of Neon Genesis Evangelion which costed RM5 per book. Now when i think back, i feel like killing myself. And when i saw Yaiba is out again with new printing, and sold for RM5.00 per book, i feel like killing the man who asked me to sell the whole 24 books to him with RM24! I sold him the books 6 times cheaper 6 years ago!

I will not sell, give or throw away any of my comic book collection, not again. I miss my Slam Dunk book which i sold to my friend RM1 per book, and also my Dragonball for RM2 per book... Damn it.

And that's why, i'm still keeping the comic magazine i bought since i was 12 until now. There are more than 400 issues of the magazine and are all still good in condition. And i always read it when i have notihng to do. Rm3.50 per book is the guaranteed, the cheapest in town. Around 17 chapters of different comic every week. Although i only read 7 or 8 out of those, but it's still worthy for me.

People ask me, why am i still buying physical books instead of downloading from the net. Well, you can't bring your laptop into the toilet to read while you are doing business at the same time right... That is one of the difference between reading it at the screen and holding it with your hands. Spending time more than 20 minutes in the toilet is normal if the comic is too attractive.

Even though we have Naruto, Bleach, Gundam Seed... or whatever popular comics nowadays, but none can still compare with Dragonball and Slam Dunk 10+years ago. In Denmark, people steal Dragonball comic book to sell!

Another nice one for me is Neon Genesis Evangelion which i have mentioned. Eva is announced dead for more than 11 years. Back to 12 years ago, Eva was once a hot topic before. Terms like "Out-of-control", "prototype", "test-type", "Ultimate Human Project", "Adam", "Angel" were widely used before because of the influence of the anime. Thanks to Justin who borrowed me the anime which he found dust covered. I don't understand the ending of the story, though. I'm still looking for the comic, if any.

Slam Dunk is over, and the author is currently working on a work which about a famous samurai. He draws for the comic Real sometimes. Which is about wheelchair basketball. Its storyline is one of the best i've ever seen. It educate people about the difficulties faced by the disables, and their faith to push them on to survive.

This kid forced to amputate his right leg. Got his foot jointed at the knee - Rotation.

The prosthetic. He revealed his feelings of being abandoned by his dad when he was drunk.

Give me something shock, like Dragonball, please. And too bad the author is too lazy. Sometimes he would draw something about Dragonball, but is some cat, feline kind of Dragonball, which disappoint people who expect something better from him...

Ps: Why Bleach is so famous? I can't catch up with the story wei...


220# Ethnics

220# Ethnics

Year 2005. The Japanese altered the history regarding the Second World War and released it in textbooks to be used in education. It shaked the whole world and msia also threw shit towards them.

Year 2006. Msia altered the history regarding the racial massacre incidents and released it in textbooks to be used in higher education. It shakes the whole country and their people throw shit towards them.

"When you point a finger towards the others, you're pointing the rest of the four at youself"

I can't imagine how brainless this country can be. They stopped building the bridge and prefer to lose couple of millions. Never mind, there are number of tax payers out there so they can still leech from them. They sold MV Agust stock for only one euro. Never mind, there are still chances.

They knew to critique how the japanese modified the truth. They knew why they should not hide the truth from the new generations. They knew everything.

But somehow, they will still do anything in order to protect their rights and their faces, by any means.

I don't understand the motive of them releasing this "storybook". But i can roughly outline the story, which i read from the newspaper.

"Once upon a time, there was this bunch of Ah Beng always seek for trouble. They gathered and insulted Ali and friends. Ali and the other brave heroes stood up, and succeed to shut those Ah Beng's mouths up. A drip or two blood were unavoidable. In the end, the heroes retrieved the grace of their race.

Muthu and the others always give trouble to the country. Peace was distrupted because of those people. Therefore sons of Ali and the other gave Muthu and friends a little bit punishment to educate them. They were well being educated, and one life only being taken."

End of story.

Again and again they emphasize how helpless, how necessary they needed to take those steps. By goes means by goes. It doesn't matter who triggered the trouble, we are already bearing the consequences now. And the worst thing is the way they beautify themselves to remain innocent.

What pull us apart is not the difference of the races, is the politicians, who made up the gahmen and lined out all the non sense policies. Screw it.

Mr MM strongly disagree to retract the books. He kept on stressing how important it is to let the generation to know the relation between the races. But dude, come on. How can the generation be educated with these kind of biased history?

I'm 120% sure that all history we studied in school are biased. Histories are hand written by man and it always never tell the truth. The authors who wrote the stories are biased and subjective. They wrote the "truth" by according to their judgement, and mixed with their own evaluations.

Considering the fact that msia has only history which is less than a few hundred years, but the story tellers are able to extend, exaggerate, elaborate the whole damn thing. And fixed them into "Sejarah Malaysia" book from "Tingkatan Satu"... until "Tingkatan Lima". Endlessly, students can't escape from studying non sense even they reached at university.

I'm not interested on their contributions to the nation. Because those are widely over exaggerated at the textbooks. And the contributions from the others who were not "their people" are never being mentioned anymore. Can you find Ah Yap's and Ah Singh"s names and their contributions at the textbooks? I bet you can't. You can only find their people ones only.

The day i started to hate history was the day i was forced to study chapter 2 of form 4 history. I couldn't stand that they kept on praising how smart their people is, how great their people are. From the begining until the end were all words to praise, to beautify themselves. I couldn't stand it and i threw the damn book onto the shelve.

Since that day onwards, i began to hate those who run the country. "Sejarah Malaysia"? Why not just change the whole damn book into "Sejarah Is***" straight away? Since more than 50% of the book released since 2004 are chapters about their religion only.

Anyway, finally this book is retracted. The country keeps on doing insane things again and again.

PS: Let's see what other stupid things this country can do again.


219# Sees no one, Be the One

219# Sees no one, Be the One

Foreword: We are living in this world, where everything seems to be unfair to us. We can't change anything, but instead we can at least learn to adapt and accept.


He says: i find the whole supervisor thing a whole lot of bullshit, why cant i learn myself?

Mike says: well, is imu

He says: what kind of rubbish system doesnt allow self learining? do they think im THAT stupid?

Mike says: chill la


- Look, dude. We are going to do our electives during our semester break. We needed certified external supervisor to carry on our work. The reason why IMU wants us to do it with supervisor instead of doing by ourselves is to ensure we are doing the right thing. Not everyone can learn a thing by themselves like how you think you could.


He says: tell them something, i may not score as well, but im VERY VERY much ahead of most othre students in our batch in overall individual social performance. im a self learnt person, and i dont take all this bullshit about having a supervisor

Mike says: pro in initial D..

He says: no, hard to explain. you have to meet my kind of friends before you know what im talking bout

Mike says: i know. u r not a nerd but u are doin well at things besides studies. is that wat u tryin to say?

He says: no

Mike says: ...


- The deal when you stepped into IMU is not about how well you can perform in all the social performances. Once you get in into a medical university, studying medicine is the deal. The fact that you are doing well in other things besides studying medicine is not important at all. Take an example, i can draw well. But does anyone cares? What we need to do now is study medicine, pass the exams and be a doctor. And yet, IMU students are not that stupid as you could imagine. Not everyone shows fields that they pro in like how you did.


He says: my thinking style differs from each and everyone of M106

Mike says: well... very well

He says: the way i study, i dont follow the way other ppl study. well, i hardly tell ppl how i study

Mike says: mmm


- How do you mean by different? Of cause, everyone is different. And each of every one of us thinks that we are different from the others and always try to stand out from the crowd. Everyone thinks differently. And everyone has his or her way to study. The method used doesn’t matter. What does matter now is that one can understand what he or she is studying and then pass the exam. And you actually told everyone how you study, just that you never notice.


He says: so its not suprising no one knows, but the thing is i dont conform to stupid rules and regulations. ah, screw it.

Mike says : chill dick.. not a problem rite

He says: the more i talk about stupid management and stupid ideology, the more i feel like im surrounded by idiots


- Please don't think that everyone is stupid, they are idiotic or something. If you were referring to those who run our country, feel free to go ahead. If imu is fulled with idiots, then why is there so many of them who graduated from imu? How could imu survive then? I'm studying at imu too with you. I'm one of those who are surrounding you. Are you implying I’m an idiot as well?


Mike says: u mean the dress code?

He says: i dont mind dresscode, its the mentality. hard to explain to ppl who dont think my wavelength, no offence


- Seriously, i felt so god damn offended. Please don't jump to a statement where you're having Einstein’s brain and i'm having a bush's one. Why are you always try to compare how differ you are with the others? If you assume that you are having a higher mentality, then you should not step into imu at the first place. Imu is only for those nerds who you referred as. Don't always think that people other than your so-called group of people are stupid. Just that the others do not show off their mentality like how you try to let people know how different you are compared to them.


He says: you realize how you always try to memorize stuff? thats how other ppl study too, and thats not the right way

Mike says: just that its too extraordinary, if u stand out

He says: thats only one sign. im trying to get my brother to stp memorizing


- Do you realise that you are studying medicine instead of courses like engineering? For medicine, understanding and memorizing are the way for us to study. Understand how things work, then memorize the sequence and medical terms. Terms are in italics so we just have to remember according to its specificity. If people never memorize stuffs, how could people scored in the god damned papers? If you don't bother about memorizing then go ahead. You shall see the difference between memorizing or not.


He says: medic, if you take the effort to look for the real meaning of words its not memorizing. teaching wise, its not very fantastic. its all self study. so most students resort to memorizing. i study in a very different way. i go about looking for the meaning of the words

Mike says: i'm pretty sure that all of them who passed used a lot of memorizing


- Again, how different, what are the differences between you and the others? You think people all swallow all the shits alive and scored? Of cause they do have their own way to make it. You shall try to think at people's situation. Do you think that you are the only one who goes into the meaning of words? Don't compare yourself with those who screwed up alright. I do go into meaning of words as well. And the others too.


He says: dats why i got B+

Mike says: dun compare urself with those chinese sch students la

He says: but i dont care, like i've said, i m not there to please the dean. im not comparing to the chinese students. if you realize the so called english educated students are memorizing one way or another. memorizing is one thing. understanding what you memorize is another.

Mike says: of coz ppl understand first only memorize. dun compare urself n joo, he is diff.


- If one doesn't understand at the first place, things that memorized will be forgotten very easily. If you try to look into how english educated and how chinese educated people study, well, you know the differences. But i'm sure that most of the chinese educated students in our batch scored A or A minus. Instead, not all the english educated people passed.


He says: basically the way i operate is very different from how anyone would think a normal person would operate

Mike says: u stand among us all la..

He says: i dont show it much cuz i know IMU ppl all stereotype thinking

Mike says: i think ppl do noticed ur diff

He says: they notice it in the wrong way

Mike says: as in?

He says: kinds of ppl that i really dislike- rooney. i dont hate him as a person. i dont like him for putting me down for not knowing as much as him

Mike says: but he keeps on givin wrong info.. he is not puitting u down. but the way u did may be

He says: but the thing is my scope is wider than most of his stereotype medic student thinkin. i can talk bout almost anything, so dats abit about how diff i am

Mike says: dun underestimate the others la

He says: actually, i've over estimated them


- Again, you are emphasizing how great you are. I thought people would only emphasize how great God is. As i mentioned, you thought that you never show how differ you are, in fact, everyone knows. Just because people is smarter then you, you feel that people was trying to put you down. Thw way you think already putting everyone on earth down, seriously. You overestimated people in imu? They ain't stupid alright as i said. Fact that they did well than you is a fact. You don't have to find any reasons to back yourself up just because you did not score.


He says: i appear arrogant in my speech, but the thing is i dare to speak

Mike says: u must apply the maxim of face saving also right... sometimes

He says: i'll put someone down if im being stepped on, even if it means spoiling my reputation. there's a threshold to how much one person can take

Mike says: urs too low

He says; so i really really take alot of mental trrashing

Mike says: man, ur esteem is too high

He says: of cuz la..but i dont show much of it..


- Good that you actually know what you are arrogant in your speech. But look, not everything can bring out in words to the others. Everyone knows that you are having an extremely high self-esteem, it's so wrong that you never realised. You want "face", the others also want "face" alright. Please save people's "face" in front of the others. It’s not necessary to fire at people if you feel offended. All of us who got offended from you never fire you back. That’s why you think that you are far beyond compare from the others.

Conclusion: Man, the reason i'm writing all these is just to let you know your mistakes. I didn't fire you straight ahead last night because i knew that you are not that kind of person who could take criticism. That's why no one dares to point out your mistake. And you always remain as ego as usual.

I'm reminding you as a friend. If i don't bother at all like the others, you wouldn't know how unacceptable you are in fact. I never tell you that most of the people complaint about your attitude at me. A lot of them do not like your way of speech and thinking. But i'd just let you know you shall change your view and perspective at the others. And please learn how to shut and how to respect the others.

I'm not putting you down or offending you. You shall realise your mistake one day. But i'm just bringing the day closer so that the number of people who dislike you will not keep on increasing.

If you feel unhappy about what i've said, feel free to talk with me. I'm one of your closest friends in the imu and i'm always there to help you.


218# The End of Semester 1

218# The End of Semester 1

I passed my borderline interview test. I passed my semester 1.

Congrats to everyone of you all who passed the finals with ordinary grades. A and A minus seemed so ordinary nowadays since you all can do so well for all the papers.

For those who did not pass the finals or the borderline test, all the best for the re-sit exam. Please do not give up yet because there are still chances to work on.

Kena Viva, survived Viva.

Usually after each of every paper, regardless summative assessment or final papers, and also after each time we collected our results, conventionally we will go DoTa after that. And yesterday we did the same as well. But too bad there were only few of us and the game wasn't that nice.

Mike also can DoTA already. Solo-ed Roshan at Version 6.34AI normal. Recent DoTA ability plus minus 25%.

Yesterday was the first time i had steamboat with my M106 batch mates. The table seemed to be so small for 14 of us. I'd join anything after i collected my result. My sunshine shone bright ahead and extinguished my grief, and i regained my appetite to stuff foods into my mouth. Chew and swallow.

Nonetheless, i feel bad because most of them scored A or A minus. And yet i scored a B only. I understand how they made it, but i don't understand why i couldn't make it. Perhaps i need to double up my hardwork and turn over two new leaves at the coming up semester.

This guy, TKS, excel in almost everything. Sports, bowling scorer holder among us. Study, on top of us all. DoTA, a freaking pro player. And even his body is muscular enough to pose.

I'm gonna sell this to the MP, this guy was trying to support piracy.

More piracy supports.

I don't know what to do for my holiday. Everyone is having their good time. Doing their electives in Taman Negara, or scuba diving. Going to Hong Kong for Medical Student Conference. Went Genting Highlands. Went back to their hometowns respectively... Well, i'm stucked at home.

Please give me a reason to step out from my gate. Thank you.

See you all folks after September. Bring me some souvenier from your hometowns. I want penang laksa, Ipoh mineral water, sarawak pepper, japan manga.

PS: Why do people support piracy?


218# Viva

218# Viva

Death or Alive.

I could not accept the fact that i was included in the borderline viva list when my friend told me over the phone. Still hoping that she did not see clearly. Considering that she is not that kind of person who'd joke with this matter, i had to admit that i did not pass my final.

Less than one day to prepare for the test, i got totally frustrated. I was so lucky to be one out of the 14 who were in the list. I always expect that i could pass straight ahead. I was so god damn wrong.

But when i came to think of the bright side, at least i did not fail. If i was not included in the viva list, i'd always thought that i passed the finals. In fact i did not. And finally if i found out that i failed, the higher expectation will leads to a greater impact.

Borderline... 62.5 to 64.5 out of 100. Statistically, the probability of being in the borderline is less than 10%, but i just got in. There are around 216 people in my batch, and 14 of us are in the list. For those who did not do well in finals and expecting for a borderline test, if they are not in the list then they can already tell what their results are...

Thinking that borderline viva is a chance for me to pass, i feel better. It's better to hypnotise myself to be more optimistic rather than cursing every Hell out of thing to god.

3 stations. Behavioural Sciences, Human Biology, and Cell and Molecules.

BS - I really don't know what is Ms Beevi saying. I knew that she was trying to guide me through the questions. But i'd appreciate if she just let me to speak to answer the questions according to the papers in front of me. Things that she said not only confused me, and i wasted time to process what was she trying to say.

Dr. Phuak's topics are my favourite and i read through all of them. But i just could not put it in proper words. My answers were such a mess. And i forgot to mention "The Inverse Care Law" and "Downward Drift" to strenghten my point of view. Getting so regretful when those 2 things flashed through my mind just right after the station, where i moved on to a rest station. I can't predict how many marks i could score out of the ten for that station. 5? Could i?

Human Biology - Thyroid gland, nerve and stomach. I did not study much about thyroid gland, die. Could not recall anything about follicular cell and parafollicular cells at all. Dr Joe asked the myelinated nerve fibre in brain (Oligodendrocyte), did not know. Cells in stomach - Chief, mucosal, enterokinase and... what? Not enterokinase, but enteroendocrine. And the last one which secretes HCL starts with "P", but i just couldn't recall that it was Parietal cell...

Conduction of nerve impulse with the presence of Schwann cells. Ok, i got it right. But they asked me extra question, called me to name the type of conduction. How am i supposed to tell? I can't recall that we learnt that? Maybe we did, but i just don't know.

This station is just terrible where i could not anwer most of the questions. I predict that i could only score 3 or 4 out of the 10.

Last station - Cell and Molecule. I used to hate biochemistry a lot because it was the one which pulled my marks down for my A level chemistry paper. My weak point, therefore i focused a lot for it. Now i love it. This station is the best which i could answer most of the questions. Assoc Dr Chu and Dr P.Kumar were cheerful enough to calm me down. The way they led was really helpful. Even info which i failed to access were retrieved and spoken out.

We need 6 out of 10 in order to pass. Otherwise, fail, and re-sit the whole SAQ and OSPE. Therefore i need 18 out of 30 to pass my borderline test. And i really can't tell whether i can make it or not. Because the human biology station was really killing me.

I saw my PBL tutor Dr. Lee before i had my borderline test. She was also involved in the test. She said they will only ask about basic. That made me feel better. But not really basic for me... Oligodendrocyte is not really basic already, man.

People say borderline test is held to help us, who stucked in between to pass. Now i hesitate. I'm not sure whether i can still pass or not. Because my performance was worst than i could ever imagined. And i think those who did not go for borderline test can only read these details from here. Oh well...

Best of luck people. 13 July.

PS : How could Italy won? Screw World Cup.


217# A Review of End of Semester 1

217# A Review of End of Semester 1

I just want to pass. I don't fancy of getting an A because it's far beyond from reaching. Maybe i could pray for an A minus.

Pass please. I don't want to be in the borderline VIVA list. And of cause i don't want to re-sit damn it. Already study for so much, if fail means i want everybody fail with me.

Short Answer Questions (SAQ) which comtributes 38% of the entire result was indeed a hardest one. 24 questions within 2 hours. And 5 out of the 24 were questions from behavioural sciences. Which i dislike. Stuffs about statistics, psychology and socialogy. Now i know why Adrien said he dislike psychology.

OSPE, total of 32% was an average one. Although i forgot a lot of answers which i was not supposed to. Knew to teach people the names for this and that. And in the end i forgot everything. Just too much of stuffs to remember. So many topics within 4 months. That's why medicine is the nerdiest course among all.

Final consists of 440 marks and contributes 70% of our result. I can only lose 86 marks for a borderline A minus, which is kind of impossible, but i still hope on. And if nothing bad happen, i think i can pass. I don't think i lost more than 120 marks in total of 440, which will make me fail...

And that's all, semester one is over. Days being a furniture in the library seemed happened yesterday. Staying in the library for 4 to 7 hours a day was what most of the people did. And there was a sofa at a corner, which people usually recharge themselves with.

Lights are bright in the library.




Sleep, but eyes opened when shuttered.

IMU students are generally rude. We (I think me myself is included) usually to show to anyone in the campus the international sign language.

Take this.

With double highlighter some more.

Show during driving some more.

Oh yeah.

Still thinking of what to do to fill up my holidays. I'm not that kind of person who can work. I'm lacking of that kind of patience. Planning to go Sarawak for rain Forest Festival. Which i don't know what is it about. Just heard that it is the only happening thing in Sarawak, which we'd like. Something like life shows.

Have to do my elective during the middle of august. Draw one or two pictures to take part in IMU's art competition. Continue my PS2 game, Devil May Cry 3 - Very Hard Mode. 3 more missions to complete. Play more DoTA... Change my rusted electric guitar strings. Play the new piano...

Damn. I should get a life.

For those who already came back to Msia, find one day we go yamcha la.

PS: Screw World Cup.


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