230# Reflection...

230# Reflection...

To be true, i'm damn disappointed to myself. And the worst thing could ever happen if draw with a black ink pen happened for few times. Furthermore those mistakes are really fatal.

I still can't get away from my usual style. I tried to beautify the overall feel, but there was still a need for me to spoil it. The hand in the mirror was to simple to be an image. And... Some tragedy happened la... So accidentally i wrecked the whole thing...

Anyway, i'm still going to submit this failed piece. But at the same time i might be submitting the other pieces too - IF i manage to draw something else. Other than during primary school, i've never enter any art competition before, ever. And this is the first time i can submit my work, without any style restriction other than the theme.

About 9 hours to work ruinned just like that... If it was a normal case i could just cover those with blood... But now i couldn't... Sad. I need tissue paper.


229# Reflection

229# Reflection

Description: No one is complete. Everyone hides a different scar.

Damn. I cant seem to get away from drawing negatively. Erotic and violent seem to be the trademarks for all of my drawings.

As showed by the prototype above, the mirror image has no different then the person. Just that the image shown has a slited, bleeding wrist.

What i'm trying to express is that, even though one looks perfect from the outside, but there's a scar which can't be seen by the others deep inside. And the mirror would reflect out what the person is trying to hide.

"The mirror will not lie..."

That sounds like a line from the tv commercial...

Now i have to tune down the level in order to suit the public. I need to draw something for the IMU art competition. The theme is "Reflection", and it's not that easy for me to express the theme with my kind of drawing.

I can't seem to put the mirror away because of the theme. It's really constricting. What else besides mirror which can produce reflections? Water in the pond?

I need to think of other options to suit the theme. Later i'll post this prototype at the forum to get comments from the people. They do give some constructive ones sometimes. And it did helped me too.

Give me some ideas, if you have one. Thank you.


228# M20

228# M20

Another year has passed. And i'm officially 20.

I planned not to stick my butt at home and face the senseless computer. I need people. I need some fresh air. I need anything other than sitting in a dead silent house.

Thanks to my batch mates, who managed to have lunch with me. Roney, Tucky Lam, Mei Ann, Jun Ken, Yovahn, Keat Seong, Joo Ming... Special thanks to Keat Seong for the Tamil version of birthday song and his strong arms to smash my face onto the chocolate cake.

"This is why my strong arm meant for!"

I can't imagine that the one i've curse upon at post #227 was the one who greeted me first with the sms. Seriously out of my expectation. And maybe she was the one who care of me the most. Whatever.

Kian Leong, Nicole, Renesh, Tenni, Lay hui, Yokie, Suzy, Yee Pei, Chia Yean, Joshua, Siew Guan, Audrey, Jia You, Kong Fui... Oh ya, and also Kelvin and Yonli.

Thank you guys. I really appreciate it. And also this person, whoever shie is la... And also the buddy daddy Justin(e) who sticking his butt at the Australia. Thank God that international sms is not that expensive.

William, Li Joo, Emily, Winnie, Wei-Jin, Mei Wen... Thanks to you all. Mei Wen would have killed me if i did not say that i love her testimonial.

Too bad i can't invite everyone of you all to my place to have a gathering or something (BKT dinner perhaps?). I think it would not happen, forever. Inviting buddies from KL, PJ is really killin' since no one knows where exactly Klang is.

So sorry to few of them, i ffked them in the end for mamak. I needed some rest. Next time alright.

And yea, no pictures post here from the lunch i had that day. The camera wasn't mine. Send me the pictures please roney!

I think i'll love the picture of me with a piece of smashed cake on it.


Nineteen Pt.2


227# To the world to dictate our death, 2

227# To the world to dictate our death, 2


There was once i had this msn conversation with this old friend of mine. Had the usual chat with an old friend who have not meet for years.

I rarely chat with her since she rarely go online. And each time when she managed to online and found me in the msn, without fail she will ask me about my current status.

"Wei... got gf already not ar...?"

That was getting irritating...

How many fuckin' times people want to ask that fucked up question? And each of everytime i'll give the same answer again and again. Other than this girl, the rest of the people do like to ask the same stuff too.

I don't know how many times i'd need to repeat my line for the answer. Apparently these jokers are not bored of asking the same shit everytime.

My reason, well. No time. I want to put on 100% for my studies. And they don't seem to accept my answer, and reply with the word "sure bo?", "really meh?", "dun lie la" and all kind of fucked up reactions.

Folks, i'm not an excellent student nor an average one. I'm below average. Since the other excellent students put on 100% of their efforts for studies, therefore i'd need to put on 120% of my hardwork in order to catch up.

Although we have only about 2 hours of lecture every weekday, but it doesn't mean that we are enjoying our sweet time.

For each page of lecture notes, we usually need almost an hour to understand, remember and memorize. It's something like reading a story. But we need to remember who, why, what, when, where, which, how of the entire story.

Medicine is not as straight forward, unlike accounting which that girl i mentioned is studying. And she din't even pass her accounting course though. Therefore, there's no reason for this girl to say i'm giving fucked up reasons such as no time, or busy with studies.

Bitch, you have your lifestyle, i have mine. My life is, study, family and friends. With or without a girl friend is not your concern at all. I don't have to report to you even if i had one.

The way you were saying that "2 hours of lecture only ma... i have more leh..." was really pissing me off. Please don't fucking compare an accounting course's lecture with a medical ones. One is a diploma level and one is a degree level, which is the toughest degree.

Free? Yes i did have free time during the semester. And the "free time" i had was time from 12.30am to 5.30am, where i can get my hands off from books, notes or steering wheels.

"Only a medical student will understand a medical student's life"

Motherfuckin' bitch. This person can be listed under the worst bitch i've ever met. Bitch as in the way she critiqued my course, my status, and my choice of being a single.

Wen Ying. If all of these times you were trying to challenge my temper, congrats that you've succeed. I'm not going to meet you up in person nor in group anymore next time.

I don't see you treat me as a friend. But just a mode of transport and a person for you to make fun with. What i got from you are just your fucking teases. And what i got from you through the msn are also the same shits.

Slut, go get a life. Hope you fuckin' burn in Hell.

And also the other sluts. I'm not going to name you all. But i just hope you girls will die one day, as a price of calling me a jerk just because i did not accept you all in the past.

Sie sind es die sich
anderlieb festhalten
fuer immer betend auf knien
vor der (finisteren) goetten

Weltmacht oder Niedergang.


226# One e and the...

226# One e and the...

It's been a while since the last day i've blogged. I do write a lot if i'm being idle at home. Now recently i have things to work with finally, so i did not bother to write...

Drum lesson has started since last friday. Pretty nice. Hands and legs coordination is difficult as i could expected. Drum riffs are not a problem since i've paid attention to drums for R&B and metal.

I have attended 2 lessons so far. Found it pretty interesting. Feel like having a set of standard 5 pieces at home. But too bad drums noise is hard to be toleranted. That's why i can't get the licence to have one at home from my dad.

The drum instructor is currently studying at UiTM. A junior of my previous electric guitar instructor who has already graduated. Does UiTM got music course? Well, i didn't know that.

I was asked whether i'm a lefty or a right handed person. I'm a left handed. But i play the guitar like how a right handed person does. Right hand is used to pick and strum, while the left fingers are for chord. Thus the right hand's strengh is greater, and the left fingers' strengh is stronger.

Therefore i'm playng the drums with right handed position, the standard ones. Which hi hat on the left and crash/ride on the right. The feeling of holding the drum sticks and make beats is very enjoyable.

I have no idea how drummer like Joey Jordison can swing his hand with twelve eight timing and play the drums at the same time. But double bass that all metal band have is really my kind of stuff.

So far drummers who i like, other than the super Joey Jordison from Slipknot, Nicholas Barker from the former Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir and Old man child's band is also one of my favourite drummer. Although this drummer is kind fat, bald, cannot swing his hair, but his skill is really superb.

Nicholas Barker

Joey Jordison not bad too. He has his own signatured 18" x 6.5" Pearl snare drum. And he can perform his drum skills on a 90 and 360 degree rotating platform. And also his head banging timing count with his long hair... Wondering how he breath with his mask.

Joey Jordison

And his drum set up.

Damn, why am i writing these boring stuff? Just want to have a new post. But if you're looking for something interesting to read,
Yee Pei's page has one.

PS: I have broadband, finally.


225# Implying explicity, part 2.

225# Implying explicity, part 2.

Freedom of speech. Can we do that in our blogs? I doubt it.

I know no one will actually give a damn about what you are writing. But there will still have some jobless surfers to read and comment your blog.

Most of the people write personal stuffs about their life. Most of the girls write bimbo blogs, where they post about where they went, who they went with, what they bought, what they have for dinner... The most typical bimbo blog is the award winning
xia xue, apparently.

And some of them will write things other than their personal stuffs. Topics which are more general and controversial. Example like jimmy,
rockson and kenny. Kenny can be one though sometimes he tend to post up bimbo-like entries. And he commented xia xue's blog being too bimbo. what a contradiction.

See, when things go too general, is not a good thing too. People will seem to understand and resonance with the general posts. They will tend to have comment, or even a different opinion on what the person is writing. In the end, peole will even fire back if they think the person's opinion is different from them. Well, human always think that they're right.

"Bush even think that he needs to help the middle east in achieving stable economy and spreading democracy. But he need some fire powers to attain that."

Example, if someone critique about Bush's act, there will still be at least 1% of them who actually support Bush. And then these two people will fight over the web. Oh yeah, search for the IP address for location and send some anthrax over.

we can't actually talk about "anything" over the web. No. Things are still under controlled by Mr. Lim, the ministry of this and that. So controversial, sensitive issues are not allowed to be discuss even at the blogs. I'd say, not encouraged to. Because there's no neutral posts about these issues. People will tend to be biased to either side.

Anything that the ministry considered as "distrupting the peace of the country" is not allowed. Rumours that spreaded which will cause fear is not allowed too. These people will just kick someone and put him behind the bars.

Damn. We can't discuss those things nor give any opinion in real life, not even when we are mamak-ing. Because there might be a flying roti canai smash onto if someone heard something which he doesn't like. In the end will get gang-banged and wollap by people. And still, now we can't even do it in our blogs.

So how? We are going to keep all these stress in ourselves? No wonder people nowadays are so stressed up. No wonder there are so many corpse found at Klang river, where gahmen's people always picnic at.

Therefore, try to make things explicit. Don't use bad words like i've used before. I got fired back by those people. Try to replace each of the sensitive words. I do learn a lot from the other blogs too. I like the word mar chan. Interesting.

224# They are not meant to die

224# They are not meant to die

Another one is harmed by the blood hunger blade of the inhuman criminals. And this time, even a life is taken. Seems that rahman students is no longer living in peace.

For more than a few times, the news of rahman students got robbed hit to the headline of the newspaper that i read. And this afternoon, i was having my brunch and reading the paper at the same time. When i read across the news where the guy got killed by the robber, i feel so sorry for his family.

My tear was about to spill out. Seriously i damn pity the victim. An intelligent, kind and nice guy's life was taken just like that. Imagine how much of contribution this guy can give to the country in the future. You and me might need his help some day. And in the end the country has just lost one more person who will push it forward.

The ratio of criminal to law enforcers is going to be significant. The number of criminals is increasing, and the arithmetric trend goes faster than the number of policemen around. Subsequently, this is the best excuse for the authority to reason why there are still so many crime around. Lacking of men power.

I doubt the excuse given. My point of view is, if the policemen are hardworking enough to patrol around, at least it can scares off these criminals. And better than nothing, it can still lower the chances of crime taking place.

I've stay at my taman for 13 years. And i rarely see a police car pass by. Not more than the number of fingers and toes i have. Not that i always sit at home, i do drive around at my taman. And i hardly see policemen patrol around.

We can't even tell are these policemen working or not. We can only see them appear to clean up the mess each time something bad happen. But before that, where were they? Aren't they suppose to show up from the middle of nowhere to stop shit from happening?

When i was young, i always think that police is a sacred job and policeman is a very great person. I saluted to them when i saw them in my primary school bus. It was just a few times, though.

But the more i got exposed, the more i learn about the force, the more negative stuffs i know about them. Eventually the hero image of them in me is totally smashed like a glass, and scattered on the floor just like that.

Policeman's job is to protect the citizens from being harmed. But why is there still so many people being endangered by those irresponsible, brainless motherfuckers? These people are not meant to die. But those fuckers are. So, the authorities, pleace enforce the law kao kao. Chop kao the fuckers. Shot kao them.


223# Why won't you die

223# Why won't you die

As i have mentioned in my 212nd, 213rd and 214th post, the condition is remained until now.

The pariah in front of my house is still alive and kicking, sucking his smelly cigar everyday without fail.

What freaked me out is that, there is actually 2 (TWO) of them who smoke cigar in front of my house! They rarely show up both at the same time together. I don't know why. They take SHIFT.

But one day i managed to see them smoking cigar and chatting to each other. And the same time with another smoker and looking at the other pariahs playing barefootball at the field.

Jin was here on friday night until saturday afternoon. He was lucky because those cigar smokers were not on duty when Jin was around. Or else he would have died of suffocation. And his mighty mother machine gun would fire with double pumped up violence.

"Eh Mike, so that pondok is that one you posted on your blog! You spy kao people for what?"

I don't understand why are these people need to be so "homeless". They do have a family. By the way, since the estate outside my area got flatted to be developed as Bandar Puteri and Bandar Botanic, the illegal houses around were destroyed too. And then these people migranted into my area and infest around.

Those two smokers have a home. But they have no life. Since they aged, jobless, and then lifeless. Nothing to do at home, so they will just lepak at the pondok in front of my house to smoke, sleep and look at the other kids playing barefootball.

For this long, they are still as active as usual. My question is, when are they going to stop smoking cigar in front of my house and stop pollute the air of the entire row of my house?

There must be a reason why. Why there are so many people died in the world, everyday. But not these pariahs.

Let me just list out a few of the reasons why they are not dying yet.

1. Road accident rate is high especially at developed cities. Tmn sentosa ain't a developed one so fatal road accidents are less likely to take place. These smokers are taking no transport. Since they only move around within the range of 100m, which is from their nests to the field in front of my house, and back to their nests, they are less likely to use any transports. Therefore the chances of them got killed by cars travelling at 90km/h is relatively small, rounded up to zero.

2. Crime rate is high especially at not-so-developed cities. Even life is taken by the criminals. Tmn sentosa is one of the not-going-to-be-developed residential area. And 90% of crime admitted are the same kind of people as these smokers. These criminals usually do not hurt their own race. Because,

2.1 - They are sharing the same natural instincts.
2.2 - These people have nothing to rob.
2.3 - They might be the senior of the robbers.

--Therefore they have a higher chance of survivial.

3. Smoking causes cancer. A simple thing which a 6 years old kindergarden kid knows. Smoking causes lung cancer, oral cancer, brain cancer... due to long term habit of smoking. But what if a smoker holds the smoke of cigar in the month only, instead of inhale it into the lungs? Subsequently, the smoker might have only chances of getting oral cancer only. Therefore there's a lower chance of mortality.

4. The more developed a place is, the more stressed the people are. And the flow goes proportionally. Jobless asses face no stress nor pressure of life, just like these two smokers. They only need to eat, sleep and smoke to interrupt people's peace. And that's why there's no reason at all for them to kill themselves. They still alive.

5. Herbicide and pesticide may be dangerous to health. And people are eating vegetables together with it. But these people over here actually plant themselves veges like how they did when they were staying in the estate. No pesticides or whatever is used. They even make themselves natural fertilizers by burning dry leaves and whatever trash found around. In the end their vege is great, free of factory pesticides. And the people around would need to suffer with the fatal smoke released during the process of making their fertilizers.

6. God is fair. They do not have a good brain, but they do have a good body strengh. They won't fall sick that easily if compared to the others. Health is their wealth.

Conclusion: Since there are so many reasons to explain the immortality of these smokers, guess they will still kick ass around for quite sometime. What i need now is a better patience, and more nose hairs to filter their cigar smoke. And more mucus to trap those foreign particles. In the end, my sinus would be getting worse.

Something off topic. Actually i'm quite pity with my mum's part time maid. She is from a typical tmn sentosa family. which the husband is retired, son is jobless and always involved in crime, daugthers either refused to work, or work in factory. And she is the major source of income for the family. The husband never appreciate and always abuse her. Saying that she is having a guy out there, and use violence on her. Yea, what the fuck. The husband is obviously psycho, a diabetic old ED mummy who likes to feed on sugars secretly. I don't mind that this maid always borrow money from us. I understand their situation. This is what happen to the residents here around. But the husband is seriously a bastard.

I hope this post is not going to be sensitive. Because there were few jobless fellas fired me when i posted about the cigar smokers in my 212nd, 213rd and 214th posts. I think they actually typed the word "Kel*ng" at the search engine, and fire kao kao people who use that word.

PS: I think i know what the term means by "Struggle for existence" in ecology. Everyone here is struggling now.


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