27.4.05

47# Exhale...

47# Exhale...

I adopted a virtual pet named miao, at the right hand side's blog box. Go play with it!
Yesterday show voon wei doing it in the library. Then Jin though me how to have one. It's so cute, haha. I like cats, so i selected it thought the cat isn't tat nice compared to the others. If u wanna have one, just click on the link on it.

2 days after i got my trial results, my old syndrome is striking back again. Get fucking pissed off to have breathing difficult, puke tendency and hypoactive... This is really affecting my everything. But i've learn from the pass 7 months in 2004. From the Hell i went thru now i'm able to control and prevent from throwing out. This is just bcoz excessive HCL in my stomach causes gases in it, once stomach shrinks to force these gases out, i'll feel like puking. Therefore i'm avoiding soft drinks and heavy foods.

Tortured. I dunno when will i be better... everything is just bcoz of exams and exams... Screwed up my entire trial. Bio B, Phy C, Chem, Maths E. These are the worst results i'd ever had. Just bcoz tat i din have enuf time to study everything. Especially chem... I think i got all below average, argh... but the only thing i proud of is i got 33/34 for my chem practical! haha... my accuracy for titration is quite high. The only mistake i did was just the moles of the proton. With error carry foward, i got only 1 mark deducted. Last night only i knew that the full mark is 34. Wa... damn happy for tat.

Rarely blog in the com lab. Gonna rush to bio lab later.
Tai ken is wearing short pants and i reminded him tat we got lab.
So.. i think he need to get a long pants from someone.
Joshua's? I dun think his pants is washed frequently... He told me. haha...

21.4.05

46# The Crescendo Passion of Bleeding

46# The Crescendo Passion of Bleeding

Oh God my desperado...
She changed her sign in her brand new file...
Showing the world that she got a brand new eyes...
Her ghost in Her fog...
" I was born to be with thee, so why should fate stand in between?"
And i asked her about it...
She said i dun have to care about it...
Slaugther the Venus in the dark.
She never ever seemed to care...
Maybe i'd yelled at her for some misunderstanding...
But we don't really know each other.
And that's why the full stop is noted.
Very good.
Cleaned the mist passed me by in my life.
Now i'm walking to Her, scent feline lure.
The scarlet silked girl beside my cell...

15.4.05

45# Inhale...

45# Inhale...

Damn... i have only 2 weeks break. I planned to spend my time by studying and doin pass year papers. Obviously i dun have the time to do wat as i planned bcoz of my grandad.

Trial papers results shud be comin out on next week. Probably tues... Shit, i cant imagine how bad will my result be. Chem was the last paper and i didnt spend much time on it. Just went thru core and transition elecments the day b4 paper. Studied phase equilibria when i was on the way to coll in the ktm.

Pathetic, i dun have notes about Group VI elements in my study guide. I think i do have in my hand written notes, but i rarely revise back wat i've written, other than maths. I really screwed up both core and option paper. Now i just hope i'll pass it...

This is just bocz i'd spent too much time on phy and maths. I hope i could get B for maths, so i spent lots of time in doin mechanics. And i didnt do well in at paper, so i dunno whether my B is there or not... For phy, dunno how it will be la.
Bio was the one tat i din study, but the paper didnt seem to be as difficult as the other 3. I just wrote everything i remember, hope i do fine for this paper...
Next week we shall see, how bad will be, our trial paper results. It's already proven tat we are not well prepared bcoz we are still so screwed.

Goin to take Biochem tuition as intro-ed by shafiq. Consulted by my sister who stopped biochem tuition and regret. She said biochem is very easy for us who take bio. Ermm... i think i'm goin to give up phase equilibria and study biochem. Though transition is hard too, but for this option i did pay attention in the class. So i think it will be better than phase which i didnt bother about... mmm....

44# Beneath the Howling Stars II

44# Beneath the Howling Stars II

The cross junction near my grandad's house is really cursed. Bcoz cars which park right there are blocking the sight of the drivers who come out from the deadly junction. Plus all the drivers drive damn fast right there, once any vehicle come out from the junciton, there goes the bangs.

As mentioned previously, an accident happened days ago. Yesterday we got another one... 3 bangs i heard, we rushed out. My aunt's car which parked perfectly beside the road was involved. The Honda Civic was trying to avoid a Benz, then it crushed to an MPV, after tat my aunt's car. The impact was so strong til the MPV which parked near to the wall of a building crushed the wall. A big hole right there... Apparently the wall wasnt make from red brick, it was just sand brick...

My aunt was angry and talked to the female driver. Obviously that driver went crazy after accident. I followed order and went back to get my cam. Captured photos of my aunt's car, the plate numbers, the situation and stuffs. My dad are already specialised to settle this type of shit, so he required that female driver's IC number. She said tat the car's her husband's, so her IC number is not needed. Fuck tat shit la... The car can be driven by anyone, who noes la if the car plate num is a fake one... Then she lost her sanity, talk shit all around. My hot tempered dad was still able to keep his head on, but my aunt couldnt. She took my cam and took photos of that bitch driver. Of coz this annoyed tat bitch, she went even more crazy.
Then we just chao... everything we needed to do were settled, just need to wait for the report stuffs... Tat bitch really mangsa la, need to pay for that MPV, the wall of the building and my aunt's car. I dunno bout tat benz, bcoz it was parked at the other road...

My cam is still at my grandad's place... so i cant upload the photos tat i'd taken. 2 accidents happened at the cross junction, one on my mum, and i got one too. Shit, this is really bad. I dun wish to experience any accidents anymore. But if witness only tat fine la. Brutal drivers shud learn their lessons by paying back ppl's damaged cars. But hope no one is dead la, or else the road will be cursed.

43# At the Gates of Heaven III

43# At the Gates of Heaven III

Now he seems getting better compared to few days ago. Before he leaves, he wished to see my cousin who was in Monash and my uncle who already lost contact. Now my cousin rushed back, and my uncle was found, therefore he seemed to be more ok. He lost his recognition, his reflexes and everything. The cancerous cells are damaging his brain cell fro mtime to time. Now he got a tube inserted into his stomach from his nose. So tat he supplied with liquid food and not dying bcoz of starvation. Since his condition is already stabled, now i can stay at home. I've already spent around 5 days over there. I didnt have time to sleep, now i wish i have...
Sigh... hope time will bring him away. He got everything he wants, hope he is satisfied.

12.4.05

42# At the Gates of Heaven II

42# At the Gates of Heaven II

My aunt came over to visit and check my grandad. She told us everything in eng bcoz she didntwant my grandparents to be afraid. Now his brain in still bleeding, this haemorrhage caused his right side to be numb and lost control. He couldnt feel his right limb and leg. He couldnt sit still either and needed support to sit in order to eat.

She said his condition is getting worse, just couple of days left. It is not too bad to end off all of these as soon as possible. Bcoz the longer his keeps, the more he would suffer. He wouldnt like to have the 3rd operation. He doesnt like to suffer anymore. Plus the 3rd operation has only 10% of surviving. Tat's why he never go for it and just enjoyed for these pass few months with us.

As a doctor, she discourages girls to study medicine. Now we got 2 girls studying medicine, my sister and my cousin. The outcome is just very easy, the problem of relationships. She saw too many cases where her colleagues divorced. In the conventional way, a woman must stay at home and serve the family. Apparently this is an exception for female doctors. Tat's why problems are easily occured between family members. Can u imagine a female doctor with one of her eye black and swelled bcoz of family violence? But for guys are ok. Guys are supposed to work according to the traditional way, but not girls... Well, i dun think i got any comments on this.

In our family, there are around 75 of us. Excluding girl frens boy frens of my cousins, 60 plus... With all the ranks, standards my uncles aunts have, there will be a very long long list of our names... We already ready for newspaper announcement for his leaving and it's goin to cost us a lot...

I'm planning to cover my A2 as complete as possible, but obviously i really do not hav time... Goin out since the morning, evening come back for bathing and at night go out again. We are trying to stay with him at least for these last few moments. I do not want to regret for the rest of my life. I would say, he is a very great man. We are not able to be succeedwithout him bringing us to life, he made it happened.

41# Beneath the Howling Stars

41# Beneath the Howling Stars

Everything seems to be so unlucky. Other than that one in my family, my sister got her own problem, my mum met an accident, and later i met one as well. My mum's one wasnt tat serious. Thk God. At least just a minor damage at the bumper side and the low light. Just bocz of a god damn car drove to close, my mum needed to avoid, and got to the divider.

I was fetching my sister back from tuition. After i came out from Shell, at the junction i stopped. A car beside me was goin to make a right turn while i was goin to the left. There were a black wira and a motocycle comin from the right. The black wira gave signal where he was goin to turn into the junction. Therefore, the car beside me made his move. I predicted tat i got enuf time exactly to make my left turn.

While i made my turn, the motorcycle was just so close. But who noes, out of a sudden there was a second motorcycle. While the time i realised it existence, i already crashed onto it. Maybe it just a little contact, and the motocyclist manage to hold his vehicle. He went on for around 150m and stopped. I stopped my car a side. It was a Malay guy together with a Malay Girl.

He got his left foot on my car's tyre. Just hitted a bit. Luckily he didnt sound at me, the girl either. He said tat he got some pain at his foot. I checked, just a little harden. Swelled obviously. He didnt feel numb, shows tat he was still having his bone. He asked money for some massages. Seriously i was damn broke by tat time though i din use cash for the petrol. i said i got only 20, though i got more than tat. He wanted 50. In the end, i pretended to ask money from my sister. 40, tat was wat i had. Together the 1 ringgit coin in my pocket, 41. Alrite, he got it, settled.

Actually while the time we were negotiating, suddenly a Waja stopped in front of us. It was Joseph... He asked what happened. It was my fault, therefore he just laughed and left... Shit, tot tat this guy will help me to negotiate. Apparently he will not help bcoz it was my fault. if it wasnt... then we shall show some co-operation between Kampung Jawa school punks...

The day before tat, a serious accident also happened near my grandad's place. A high speed wira got hitten by an unser which came out from a junction, that wira lost control and bangged to a house's brick wall. The dog in the house already mangsa i think bcoz i did heard 3 bangs and a dog's shriek. No one was hurt, but the wira was quite seriously damaged, and the wall just collapsed... The unser was carrying around 6 til 8 ppl, and the women were damn fat... So i could imagine the momentum brought by it. Together by the speed of the wira, this's the result...

Just RM41... Problem which can settle with this amount of money is exactly not a problem at all. I thank God for all of this. I just got a scratch at the tyre's cover with out any injuries. I didnt tell my dad about this. I dun want to give him any pressure anymore. While the time mum told him tat she hitted her car, he never bothered, just told her not to bother her anymore. I understand. By this time, nothing else is worst tat having someone who is leaving soon.

10.4.05

40# At the Gates of Heaven

40# At the Gates of Heaven

There was such a long time since i posted my previous entry. Tat was even minutes b4 i made to class. Feel so strange why is everyone able to blog even we got papers to settle. Harpreet, Josh, Su ann, Sekteng... still blogging... Me, i got lost for almost a month. Within these 2 weeks, i had really spent a lot... RM200 something for CDs, RM100 for entertainment, birthday for 3 frens... i was down when i didnt saw Mika's 3rd album on the rack. But i saw Ai Otsuka. I only knew her thru newspaper, just knew tat she did all the lyrics, composing, piano and synthesizers, who is a every talented young gal. Without hesitating, i bought both of her records which costed 87. In the end... these 2 records spent my day and my nite with me when i was studying in my room. She made good songs, no bad. And... she was in the No.1 chart of Tower Records. She rules.

Wed was the last day for our writing paper. Though i screwed up chem seriously, but i was still made up my mind to lepak with classmates. So glad to see Mika's 3rd album there... bought a chinese album for my sister as well. Surprised to see Cradle of Filth's "Cruelty and the Beast" over there which will not appear in general record shops. Though i already got a copy from James, but i still bought the original. Imported from Japan, sort of special edition. Therefore got 2 extra tracks, cover songs with i dun have in the copy, "Black Metal" and "Sodomy and Lust". Those 2 cover sux actually.

Me, Shefong, Yifeng, Ngarshien were on our way to find the others. And i was checking the cruelty CD out. My heart almost strike out when i saw them. Shit... i was trying to cover the CD up from them when one of them asked what Cd i bought. I feel guilty to lie, but it would be better to respect ppl's religion. I would not want one someone to avoid me just bcoz of difference in believing... tat's all...

As John Paul II knocks the door of heaven, guess my grandad will be the next.
He was getting worse this morning. Losing his ability to walk.
Seems he scares to be alone before he goes to the new journey, so we are trying to accompany all the times as we could. My dad seemed to be down all the times. Just now the waiteress's service was so rude. He got pissed off. Luckily he didnt kill her. At least he was still able to control his temper. I understand the situation. Grandad is almost there, as a son for sure will be sad and something. Luckily i'm having my 2 weeks break now. So i can spend more time with my grandad. Maybe just one more week to last, according to his situation now. If the worse thing happened, hope i'm still having my break so tat i'm able to attend the ceremony.

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