118# If only there are so many "IF"

118# If only there are so many "IF"

I heart was like a big stone, fell from a cliff of 1km above the sea level, falling with terminal velocity and dropped into the endless sea.

According to my sister, when she submitted the application form for me, the person over there said,

"You are wasting your 600 ringgit."

All hope lies in eclipse.
RM 600 is the non refundable payment for the interview.
It was because, i have just meet me minimum requirement. And there are so many of them with numbers of As killing each other to get in. So there is no reason for me to be accepted.

If my interview is successful, then my name will be at the bottom of the waiting list.
If suddenly those who are at the top of the waiting list cancel their application, then my name will move up.
If suddenly those who are accepted cancel their course in IMU, then i'll be accepted.
If only there are so many "IF".

So i'm preparing to be rejected from IMU. I know i'm not qualified to apply. Therefore there's the only way that i can do now. Study 3 years of biotech. Use the degree to re-apply IMU.

But by that time UTAR already offers medicine, full course in Msia. And i might need to consider UTAR since it is so much cheaper than in IMU. But i really want to study in IMU because it is so well concentrated and professional in the medical field. I don't want UTAR man...

Biotech... maybe i'll try to find the university in Shah Alam, i don't know what the name is anyway... Damn, my path is getting harder. I really want to be a doctor, so i must get across this damned wall.

Maybe i should not care about years i wasted on, as long as i can finished with MBBS, that's the most important thing after all. The result is more important than the process. It doesn't matter how slow i am, the thing is that i shall not stop. It's a job for me to work for the rest of my whole life, so if i'm not working as a doctor then there'll be no point living already...