31# Gabrielle...

31# Gabrielle...

I was damn tired today. Though i tried to concentrate during chem class, but somehow i still fell asleep in the class. I couldnt sleep well yesterday. Dreamt of something tat supposed to be good. I dreamt tat i got 2 a's... but...

When i was still sleepin in the class, suddenly i heard someone said "Oh my God..." and the everybody began to make noise. I could see wat's happenin... I saw Mr. Ananda came into our class with some papers with him. Well, it's time...

Everyone was so scared to accept the results from him. Once i got mine, i couldnt believe everything tat i've seen... What kind of results tat i got? Shud i be happy tat i din get a C for chem and the others though i predicted? Or shud i be sad tat i din even get a single A? I dun bother bout the "d" tat i got from Thinking Skills paper, well it doesnt matter...
But all i could see in my results paper was just a row of same alphabets...

When my frens asked me how was my result... i just joked to them tat I got straight C for trial, straight B for AS final, and i shall get straight A for A2...
Well, at tat time i din noe tat i shall not make such kind of jokes.
Bcoz most of my frens were not happy with their results...
They went tuition, dropped subject.... but in the end, things are not as expected.

I noe i'm not supposed to be sad, bcoz i'm damn lucky to get such results.
I understand. I'm a weak student, from low educated schs, and weak in english.
Furthermore, I'm too lazy to go for tuitions...
But the results tat i got is really a miracle for me...
Though it's not a very good grade, but it appeared to happen wat did i got in trials and SPM.
Trials i got straight C, SPM i got A1 for chem phy math addmaths eng...
And now... straight again... though it's not A. but luckily there's no C...

I din noe how to convince my frens...
they were so sad and i couldnt give any advice for them bcoz i din scored as well...
I'm just a lil bit lucky... actually i also couldnt believe i'll get such results...

Chem... my sister said it's neccesary to re-sit if i dun get an A for it...
bcoz AS's chem is just a basic, once i entered A2, AS lessons will be very easy.
According to her, all of her frens who re-sit AS for chem got A in the end...
well, i need to consult my chem lecture i think...
But she said for a B, it's not neccesary to re-sit, even a C also.
So... sigh.

During the year in 2004, i suffered a lot.
From a person who suck in eng, now i am able to speak to the others.
From a low class gangster secondary sch, now i'm exposed to the supremes.
From being an excellent student in secondary, now i noe how difficult is the word in CAL...
Takin 4 subjects is really an act of suicide, but somehow i did it...
and the consequences of the stress is really harmful.
Academic stress and social stress were really pushin my life to the edge.
Due to the stress, once my health had a very big problem.
And this problem leading me towards getter problems as the postive feedbacks.
And once i tried to end of my life bcoz wat could i saw was life is really worthless for me.
I live for the sake of study other than anything elses...

I think it's worth to get such results for me...
I'm not an excellent student, so i did double up my effort on studies compared to the others.
So i must study more in A2... Hope i can upgrade my results...
Thx to the priest and everyone in Desawan Church for all the blessing...
Thx to myself tat i'm able to overcome these shits...