53# The Modern Fairy Tale I
Taken from Josh's blog, which is damn lame and funny. A fairy tale which he modified. Just be ready to LOL, i noe it's lame though but it's still farny.
The story below is a fairy-tale which I modified. The original version has a young and handsome Prince Charming who rides his loyal horse and braves sunshine and rain for many days and many nights to rescue a beautiful princess from the highest tower in a castle guarded by a raging fire-breathing dragon. He fights and kills the dragon. He then kisses the princess to awaken her from her eternal sleep and they lived happily ever after. The modified version may or may not contain similarities with the original.
Once upon a time ah.. by Josh L
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (Malaysia), there lived a young and handsome man. His name was Prins Cha Ming, the only son of Dato and Datin Prins. The Dato and Datin loved their only child so much and gave him whatever he wished for. Hence, he had a very happy life because he had everything he ever wanted in life, except for one thing : a wife.
However, Cha Ming seldom went clubbing and partying because his parents were very overprotective. They did not want their son to have casual sex and one-night-stands. As a result, he did not have many phone numbers belonging to girls.
So Cha Ming SMSed his best friend, Ah Keong, asking if he had any girl to introduce to him. The reply was :
got got.. her name xiao li.. veli pretty wan.. but i b z now.. tok l8r k?
After 12 hours of waiting to 'tok l8r', Cha Ming could not take it any longer and he did some research on the Internet and found that Xiao Li lived in a condominium called Castle Heights.
He left in his very new, very expensive silver Mazda RX7. He braved the traffic jams in KL for 2 hours and 2 minutes. Finally, he reached the condo. It was guarded by a security guard with a beer belly. The guard did not allow him to enter because he did not have an ID.
"Oi.. where are you going?" demanded the guard.
"I am here to visit Xiao Li." Cha Ming politely responded.
"I don't care even if you are visiting your grandmother. You cannot enter because you don't have ID."
"What-e-v-e-r," says Cha Ming and walked off.
The guard blocked Cha Ming's path and shouted, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!"
"FINE! You want ID? Here's some ID," Cha Ming said while flashing his MyKad.
"Prins..Ch..Cha..M-Ming? Sorry, sir. I didn't recognize you. You look so different from your modelling advertisements for Giordano. Please go right ahead. Ms Xiao Li lives on the highest floor - the penthouse."
"Thank you. And please stop drinking so much. Your breath smells of alcohol. And never, ever steal a line from Lord Of The Rings. Got it?"
"Yes, sir and thank you, sir."
Soon, Cha Ming was inside the penthouse because the door was unlocked. He heard some sounds coming from the TV in the bedroom so he knocked on the bedroom door.
"Who is it?" a sexy voice asked.
"I am Prins Cha Ming. Your knight in shining Mazda RX7. I have come to sweep you off your feet, marry you and we'll live happily ever after."
"Yeah okay, I'll be right there. I'm watching American Idol now. Please make yourself at home though."
So, Cha Ming made himself at home. He saw a computer and started surfing the Net. When he signed into his MSN account, he saw Ah Keong online. Cha Ming was really angry at him and started messaging him.
princecharming80 : hey keong.. y din u msg me afta dat.. wait so long
a*keong : ei? i did reply leh.. aiyo ur phone alwiz lik dis wan.. i tell u.. digi sux la.. change to maxis ler.. neway did u visit xiaoli yet?
princecharming80 : ya.. im at her house now
a*keong : WAH WAH.. quik tell me lah.. what r her measurements?
princecharming80 : aiks.. i haven seen her yet.. but from her voice.. i can imagine she is about 38-24-36 with relli smooth n
Cha Ming turned round in surprise. What he saw nearly made him faint. It was the ugliest woman in the universe. He was really disgusted at such a revolting sight.
"Sorry about that. American Idol is REALLY addictive. I still can't believe Constantine got voted off. Can you?"
"Er.. no.. but who are you?"
"Hello?? I'm Xiao Li. Duh, right? Ok, so let's get down to business. You can kiss me now."
"Huh? What for?"
"Well, that's what it says in all the classic fairy-tales!"
"But.. but this is reality! So no kissing necessary. But what I really want to ask is why you look so different?"
"What do you mean?"
With that, Cha Ming used the Net again and showed Xiao Li a picture online.
"See! ~xIaO-Li~ is your friendster account right. This girl in the picture looks so hot. You, on the other hand, well.. erm.. are not as hot.."
"Don't be so naive. Of course I did some photoshop editing to the pictures. But it doesn't really matter. I'm still hot. You know it and you can't deny it. So kiss me already. You know you want to. Come on. Do it. Do it."
At this point, Cha Ming could not stand it and lost his mind. He took out his gun and shot Xiao Li dead. At his trial in court, he pleaded not guilty on the grounds that he had "done the world a favour by getting rid of such a horrific thing". Not that it changed anything, because he was sentenced to life imprisonment. And so, the rest of the world lived happily ever after.